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Vampires Do It Better - Chap 13

Title: Vampires Do It Better
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Yoomin, maybe Jaemin in the future.
Genre: Action, Humour, Romance, and random stupid
Plot: Inspired by the novel “Bloodthirsty” by Flynn Meany. Mostly just for the first couple chapters though… You should read it! SUPER FUNNY!
Length: Chaptered
Rating: PG, might go up to 13 later… but who can predict that? Certainly not I!
Warning: Um… Deceit? Naaah.
Summary: “Some Vampires are good. Some are evil. And some are just faking it to get girls.” What Jaejoong didn’t count on was a gay roommate, some kind of vampire half-breed, and a tiny loser he accidentally rescued to ruin everything he had planned for his new year at a new school. ALL HE WANTED WAS A GIRLFRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone in this fic… because if I did, neither I nor they would leave my bedroom… except maybe for snacks…

Chapter 13
For some strange reason, Yunho wasn’t presently in the kitchen making me soup. I’m sure I’ve informed him appropriately of my need for some hot chicken noodle soup. I did give him the correct eye twitch sequence to inform him of it. Maybe our ocular functions were having trouble communicating. “HEY YUNHO!” I shouted, and everybody in the room jumped except Changmin who was dazedly licking the blood on his lips. “GO MAKE ME SOUP!”
Yunho seemed taken aback by my repeated demand for food. “What? Make it yourself.”
I was appalled. Me? Make my OWN soup, while I was sick? “No. You make it for me.” I ordered him, but he didn’t move from his spot. What the hell was wrong with him? “I want soup.” I gestured wildly in hopes to convey the urgent-ness of my soup need.
“Actually soup sounds pretty good. Make me some too.” Changmin beamed from his spot on the floor.
“I’m not making anybody soup!” Yunho shouted unnecessarily, throwing his arms up in the air. “And I’m certainly not going to make YOU any.” He pointed accusingly at Min.
The half-vampire looked hurt. He clutched his hand to his chest, and widened his eyes. “But… Why not?” He sobbed pathetically.
“Gee, I don’t know… Maybe because you tried to EAT OUR ROOMATE!” Yunho screamed at him. Geez, what crawled up his ass? He was all normal and not yell-y just a second ago.
Changmin pouted. “It’s not my fault I got hungry. If you had given me something to eat from the start we would have avoided this entire situation.”
Yunho looked like he was about ready to tear Min’s head off. “If you weren’t a creepy ass VAMPIRE SPAWN we would have avoided this situation ENTIRELY!” He growled, crossing his arms over his chest. “This is so wrong.”
“It’s not like I can help it.” Min cried.
“Who cares? Why aren’t you making me soup?” I sighed exasperatedly. “And I thought Hyun Joong was the one who got easily distracted.” Hyun Joong looked up from the picture of an ostrich he was doodling at the sound of his name. We stared at each other, and then he shrugged and went to the kitchen. I turned back to Yunho. “SOOOOUUUUPPP!”
“SHUT UP! I’m not going to make either of you soup!” Yunho chided us like the ass he is. What kind of person doesn’t make his sick friend soup when he asks for it? I got up and went to sit over by Changmin, as a protest against Yunho being unfriendly and mean to us. We linked arms and glared at him in unison.
“We don’t like you anymore.” I huffed, and Min nodded in agreement.
“Will you two stop acting like a couple of five year olds?” Yunho pouted. Then we shared a conspiring glance and smirked at Changmin. “Except for you, Min… Since you’re technically not acting.”
“Awww, our little five year-old.” I petted his head, and Yunho snickered. “Such a cutie.”
“Shut up! It’s not THAT funny.”
“Actually, it is.” Yun and I grinned widely at him. He came over and we both pinched Changmin’s cheeks and cooed at him.
“Screw you guys.” He huffed childishly, throwing his legs up in a tantrum. “If I weren’t full from eating Yoochun I would suck both of you dry.”
“Oh my God! We forgot about Yoochun!” I cried. I crawled over to my roommate who was currently lying listlessly on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with a dazed expression on his face. He looked like he’d just smoked something hallucinatory. “Hey, Chuuuuuun… How are you holding up there buddy?”
Changmin shrugged. “He’s fine. The endorphins are probably still in his blood.” He licked his lips again. “Wow, for a useless crybaby he tastes ah-may-zing!” I scooted away from Changmin. I didn’t want to hear any more of his freaky half-vampire talk.
“Come on, help me move him.” We dropped Yoochun on the couch and left him there. He was just staring dazedly at the ceiling with this glazed look on his face, like he’d gotten a tummy ache from eating too much ice cream. I figured he was safe there. He probably won’t do much in his current catatonic state. We might need to call in a psychiatrist for him later, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I sat down with my back against the couch, and Yunho sat next to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder. Changmin then started lecturing us endlessly about the proper use of tact and politeness when speaking to the dark blood-sucking demons of the night that would surely visit us in a while. Apparently, there’s an entire procedure to go through and forms to fill out and whatnot. This was never mentioned in any of the books I’d read about vampires. Usually, they either just cut to the chase and eat you, or fall helplessly in love with you and turn you. Vampire books make very little sense if you think about it. Why would a creature of the night fall in love with its food, if it never bothered talking to it before? It’s like me decided to start chatting up a piece of chicken. Well, not exactly, because a chicken would just cluck at me and try to bite me and I’m sure a human being would be much less aggressive about it, but you get my point.
I was comfortably dozing off on Yunho’s arm, and nodding meaninglessly at Min’s words, when the doorbell rang the first few notes of “Hello my Baby”. I immediately imagined a cartoon frog with a cane and a top hat, before dragging myself unhappily to the door. Who the hell was calling on us at – I glanced at the clock hanging in the hallway- THREE IN THE MORNING?!? I grabbed the doorknob and opened it dramatically to reveal a tall very effeminate man (at least I assumed it was a man). He/she had waist long black hair, too much mascara on, and blood red lipstick… or maybe it was just regular bloodstain on his lips or something. He or she was also wearing what I can only describe as the strangest Scottish kilt outfit I had ever seen. I had never been more scared of anything my entire life than I was of that… she-male. It opened its mouth to talk, and for some indescribably stupid reason I screamed “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?!” I paused, apparently deeming it smart to wait for an answer from the Scottish invader. He opened his mouth again and I shouted. “IT’S FREAKING THREE IN THE MORNING! PEOPLE SLEEP AT THIS HOUR! You stupid vampires have all these rules about us being tactful and polite to you, but you can just show up out of the blue, unannounced and uninvited to kill us, at FRIGGIN’ THREE IN THE MORNING! Don’t you think that’s a little RUDE?” I put my hand on my hip and gave the guy my best supposedly soul-shrivelling vampiric glare. “So just GO HOME, and stop annoying us.” I was about to slam the door in his face, but pulled back before I did and added “And stop being so obviously gay. Your pink sweater doesn’t match your kilt!” And THEN I slammed the dour loudly in his face, feeling quite superior and proud as I did so. I had just conquered my biggest fear. I was… a MAN!
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Changmin shouted at me angrily. “Did NOTHING I told you in the past hour sink into that tiny brain of yours? That was HEECHUL! Open that door and apologize.”
“But I just became a man!” I protested. “It took me a lot of guts to scream angrily at that unhappy looking transvestite!”
“I can hear you.” The she-male called from the other side of the door.
“Stop eavesdropping!” I shouted in his general direction. “THAT’s rude too!”
Yunho rubbed his temples with an annoyed look on his face. “Jae… just –wait. Did you say you just became a man?” He interrupted himself to ask.
“Yes!” I posed proudly. “I got over my fear of that… “guy”,” I made air quotes with my fingers. “standing outside. I feel very manly.”
Yunho groaned, and got up, making his way to the door. “Jae, you’re being insane. I’m sure he’s not that scary.” He pushed me aside and pulled open the door. From the left, I saw his eyes widen and his lip stiffen.  There was a couple of seconds of awkward staring, then the trans-vamp, or Heechul, opened his mouth to say something, and Yunho slammed the door in his face. “Oh my GOD! What the HELL was that?”
“Scary, right?” I nodded in agreement.
Yun put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a proud father look. “You’re right, Jae. You really have become a man!”
I smiled brightly at the reaffirmation of my masculinity. I rested my hand on his. “So… does this mean-”
“It’s never going to be Jaeho.” Yunho interrupted, growling angrily. He went to sit back down behind the sofa.
I glared at him, but Changmin interrupted me before I could refute his point. “You just made it worse! Jaejoong, go apologize right now!” He shouted, being bossy and bitchy all of a sudden.
“Fine.” I groaned and turned to the door. As I was opening it, I felt a pinching pain in my stomach. I ignore the weird feeling and faced the freaky vampire once again… and punctually upchucked on his shiny black stilettos. THAT was probably a faux pas.
There was a loud ear-shattering screech, and the she-male started sobbing bloody tears onto our doormat. “You fucking brat!” He screamed at me in an oddly manly and somewhat familiar voice. “Do you have ANY idea how long it fucking took me to find heels that come in men’s sizes? DO YOU?”
I was still a bit dizzy and gross from the vomiting, so I looked him up and down in confusion, before bringing my eyes to my own bare feet and said “I’m sorry. I’m not well versed in slutty transvestite footwear.” The man’s eyes widened in anger and offense. It seems I had put my  foot in my mouth and it was permanently stuck there. “I’m going to go wash my face, okay?” I asked like he cared, and walked away to the bathroom, leaving the door ajar.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?!” Heechul screeched after me, still standing at the door looking like someone who’d just arrived to a casual party in a costume. I ignored him in favour of brushing my teeth over the sink. Ah, minty freshness. I feel better already. “Oh gross, ew, ew ,ew!” The creature bemoaned. Everyone else was being really quiet, and I idly wondered where Hyun Joong had gone off to. He’s usually good at breaking the ice.
I heard a slam and went out to see Yunho had yet again shut the door in Heechul’s face. “Yun! Why would you do that, again?”
“He’s freaking me out, okay?” He muttered.
“But aren’t you supposed to be okay with this? I mean you ARE gay.” I reminded him, in case he forgot.
“Yes, but I’m not THAT gay.” He shuddered, then randomly grabbed my head. “Are you okay, though?” He asked, being all adorable and worried. He’s so cute.
“Yes.” I nodded, and then sneezed to my left. “I feel a bit icky.”
Changmin finally got up from his spot of useless, and opened the door for the freaky vampire. “There is a time and place for random romance.” He grumbled at life in general. “This ISN’T one of them!”
“Okay, that’s it!” The vampire strolled in as soon as Min invited him in. He was closely followed by at least half a dozen vampires dressed in equally if not more embarrassing outfits. I wonder how I missed them. “I have never been more humiliated and turned on in my entire life! And THAT is a very fucking long time! YOU!” He pointed angrily at me and Yunho, and everyone in the room turned to look at us. Then, Heechul gave us this creepy sex-smile that had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. “Both of you will be my sex slaves until you’re too old or dead, whichever comes first!”
Please let death come first. “Can’t you just turn us or something?” I mumbled, even though I didn’t particularly want to be anyone’s sex slave for all eternity.
All the vampires in the room laughed haughtily. “Silly humans, you can’t be turned into a vampire. You’re either born one or you’re not.” Heechul shook his head laughingly. “Can you believe these guys?” He asked his crew of blood-suckers who were all wiping bloody tears in amusement. It really wasn’t that funny. “You will make interesting sex slaves.”
One of the manlier looking vampires, with checkered pants on, pulled Heechul away from us. “Remember, Honey, slavery is illegal now.” The handsome man said soothingly in his manly man voice.
“But Wonnie~ I WANT them.” Heechul pleaded.
‘Wonnie’ shook his head indulgently at the vampire, like he was a misbehaving toddler. Yun and I shared a freaked out glance. Changmin was leaning against the couch, doing nothing to help us and acting like this was regular everyday drama, and not HOLY CRAP THERE’S A SHITLOAD OF VAMPIRES IN MY HOUSE DEMANDING I BECOME THEIR SEX SLAVE drama. That is one long ass drama. “But Chulie, what will the others think if they see those two humans catering to your every whim?” Heechul pursed his lips and blinked at him questioningly. “They’ll think you’re into…” he paused for effect. “humanity.”
“Eww…” The gaily dressed followers groaned in unison.
“You’re right.” The kilt wearing vampire scrunched up his nose. “And I’ll be like that crazy bitch of a coven leader, raping poor humans left and right.”
“HEY! That’s my mother you’re talking about!” Changmin protested. Heechul waved his hand dismissively like he could physically shoo Min’s words. I sneezed again, and one of the vampires suddenly appeared in front of me with a tissue.
“I will not be linked to such disgusting practices.” Heechul huffed.
“What’s so wrong with humanity?” I asked, greatly offended for my species. I mean sure, we don’t live as long, run as fast, punch as hard, or have an awkward relationship with the sun (minus me of course), but we’re good enough to have sex with!
“Well doing it with a human would be like you making love to a horse.” Manly checkered pants gut shrugged, putting the horrible mental image into our minds. I felt like puking all over again. “Nobody wants to fuck their food, except some sick people.”
“Again, that’s my MOTHER!” Min growled at them, but was ignored.
“I mean I don’t see you guys going around falling in love with sticks of celery. Although there was that quite disturbing commercial where that man marries a stick of gum, but I’m sure that was more for comedic value than anything else.” He finished, smiling spiffily at us. I would’ve smiled back if his fangs weren’t so terrifying.
Although all this talk of bestiality and vegetable… ality… was quite fascinating, I really wanted to move on from all the alternative sex conversation to the reason why a handful of vampires were exploring my house like Dora was teaching them Spanish in it. “So… What are you going to do to us?” I asked cautiously.
“Right! We’re not here to discuss our issues with humanity!” Heechul huffed, suddenly in control of the impromptu meeting. He pulled a document he had somehow tucked into his kilt. He unfolded it and sauntered over to me. I took a step closer to Yunho to hide behind him, but he was already using me as a human shield. I sighed. He can be SUCH a girl sometimes. “Here you go.” He held the papers out to me.
I stared at the small stack like it was evil incarnate. “I’m not touching that.” I told the vampire. “I don’t know where it’s been.” I mean it was tucked in his kilt thing. It was probably touching parts of his anatomy I didn’t want anything to do with.
Heechul gasped like I had insulted him… again. “Why you little-” He cut himself off and took deep breaths to settle himself. “Listen here you overly attractive brat! If you don’t take this paper from my hand right this instant, I will push you into that bedroom and rape you until you’re impotent!” He screamed loudly, shaking an angry finger at me.
I realized why his voice seemed familiar right then. “Oh my God! You were the guy in the porno Min was listening to when I called him about my gay dream!”
“You had a gay dream?” Yunho asked, surprised.
“Yeah, but I called Changmin, and he said it wasn’t a gay dream.” I shrugged. “I mean I was just the Cotton Candy queen of Candyland, and I had to eat my Cotton Candy King, which turned out to be you.” I smiled brightly.
“How is that not a gay dream?” Yunho seemed puzzled.
Changmin rubbed his hand tiredly over his face. “I’m sorry about this, Heechul. They’re usually much saner.” He shot me a glare, and I glared right back at him. This was somehow all his fault.
Heechul thrust the document in my face. I sighed resignedly and took the paper gingerly between my thumb and my forefinger, trying not to think of the fact that it had been in some really gross places. I read the paper over, and looked up at him with my best deadpan expression. “Are you shitting me?”
“Nope.” Heechul smiled, exposing his pointy canines.
I snapped. “It’s three in the morning. I’m tired. I’m sleepy. I’m sick. I’ve just been chased down a long path to a warehouse, where I was lip-raped –not now, Yunho.” I growled before he could refute my premise. “I witnessed my childhood friend get attacked by a half-vamp creature I thought was just a regular human, right before being scared shitless by the gayest creature of existence and his matching goons, just because you wanted a FUCKING APOLOGY FOR PRETENDING TO BE A VAMPIRE?!?”
Heechul and his crew of colorful Scotsmen seemed unfazed by my sudden outburst. This must happen a lot. “And if you read the fine print it also says you have to publicly denounce any relation to vampirism.” Manly pants guy added, smiling sheepishly.
“What the fuck is wrong with you asses!” Yunho shouted at them, finally recovered from his trans-vamp fear. “Couldn’t you have called or something?”
“Siwon explain it to them. I’m too sexy for this.” Heechul tossed his long hair. I realized he was no longer wearing his bile covered man-heels which was just as well, because I wasn’t going to be the one cleaning THAT up.
Siwon smiled at him lovingly. “We realized, through experience, that people rarely take us seriously unless they are first viciously hunted. He shrugged at us.
“Are you serious?” I groaned. “I’m in high school for Christ sake! Why do you even care that I’m pretending to be a vampire?”
Heechul sighed. “Why are you making this overly complicated, boy-toy?” … boy-toy? Is this Give-Jaejoong-a-weird-nickname day? “Do I have to. Spell. It. Out. For. You?” He asked slowly like I was a slow kid, and I’m sure even one of them would be insulted.
Yunho seemed equally offended, because he puffed up his chest and stood in front of me all manly-man-ish. “Don’t talk to him like that, and answer his question!”
Heechul seemed impressed by Yunho’s sudden sexy man act. He shrugged. “Well, we have our pride too, you know. We can’t have random people going around claiming to be vampires and werewolves! I mean sure, YOU ended up hot and pretty, but what if a fat guy was thought to be a vampire?” He asked like it would’ve been a complete tragedy. The chubbier vampire who had handed me a tissue, shifted uncomfortably in the back. Poor guy.
“And if people start believing in vampires and werewolves, it would compromise our entire existence. There would be man-hunts, and murders and blood, and we’d never hear the end of it. So you can see how an entire high school believing vampires exist is a problem for us.” Siwon finished for him. “So, just announce to your school that you’re not a vampire, and that we don’t exist, and we’ll leave you alone. In fact, if you want, we could even send you our yearly calendar.” He produced a bound stack of papers seemingly out of nowhere, with his half-naked self on the cover. “We sell these to raise money for our blood banks. Murder is just so barbaric.”
Wow, who knew vampires could be so nice and generous? “And if I don’t?” I asked, mostly to be cool. I mean, it’s not like they were being unreasonable or anything.
“Oh, then we’ll hunt you down for real and either make you our blood slaves or kill you.” He said just as pleasantly.
“I thought slavery was illegal.” Yunho supplied helpfully.
“Oh, right!” Siwon nodded. “Then we’ll just kill you.” I glared at Yunho for being so unhelpful.
I nodded like I was considering it, even though death and blood slavery were things I’d rather NOT have on my resume. “Alright, I’m sorry for pretending to be a blood-sucking creature of the night, and as soon as classes start again, I will announce publicly that I’m boringly human.”
Siwon seemed satisfied, and even turned to the door to leave, but Heechul was pursing his lips unhappily. “That’s it?!?” He growled. “I think I deserve a PERSONAL apology!”
“For what?” Yunho snapped, but quickly retreated when the trans-vamp glared at him.
“For the horrible and tactless treatment I received from the both of you.” He cried tragically. I see where Changmin gets his drama from.
“We’re sorry.” I nodded, and Yun grumbled begrudgingly in agreement.
“That’s not enough!” He suddenly shouted, and we both jumped back in surprise. “Hm, what would be an appropriate apology?” He held his chin pensively, and I noticed how freaking long and SHARP his nails were. I kind of feel like little red riding hood around this guy. ‘My what androgynous make-up you have!’ “I know! A kiss!” He said excitedly.
Yunho and I both grimaced. “We have to kiss you?” I groaned, trying to keep the disgust out of my voice, because that would probably only insult him further, and God knows what he’d have us do with him then!
“No.” He pouted. “Not that I’m not tempted, but I’m just not into humanity.” Yunho and I shared a glance. He’s such a liar. “So no, you must kiss EACH OTHER!” He cackled evilly, like a super villain who’d just monologue his master plan to destroy the universe.
We shared another glance. “Okay.” We shrugged.
Heechul seemed taken aback by our casual acceptance. “I mean like a REAL kiss with tongue and everything.” He emphasised.
“Yeah, we got that.” Yunho smiled devilishly. He’s so handsome.
“Okay, you’re not getting this.” He spread his arms widely like he could pause the conversation. “You two have to MAKE-OUT in front of me.”
“Are we going to do it, or are you going to give us more directions?” I asked exasperated. We were already half-turned in preparation.
“Could you at least PRETEND this causes you great discomfort?” He snarled unhappily. “Whatever, just make-out.” He huffed.
And make-out we did. It was nothing passionate and needy like when we were crushed between the palettes, but it was nice all the same. Yunho’s hands fisted in my hair, and he pulled me closer. My hands involuntarily made it around his waist. He warm wet tongue swiped against my lower lip, and I opened my mouth out of my own free will. He nibbled on my upper lip for a second, before delving his tongue in my mouth. We were both sucking and tasting at each other’s mouths, and we had the sudden urge to feel Yunho’s perky ass. So, I reached down bringing out bodies closer in the process to squeeze his butt. He yipped loudly, and broke the kiss at the same time. I realized I probably wasn’t as not gay as I thought I was.
I turned awkwardly to our audience who were staring at us with gaping mouths and wide eyes. Changmin gulped and mumbled something discreet about the bathroom, before running to it and shutting the door with a loud bang. Siwon wiped away the drool leaking from Heechul’s mouth. “Wow.” Heechul finally spoke, though he still seemed awed. “Well… you’re definitely forgiven!” He nodded enthusiastically, clearing his throat. “Siwon, let’s go, before this hard-on becomes unbearable.” Ugh, did we really need to know that?
Siwon nodded understandingly. “We hope you’ll keep your promise, Jaejoong. See you!” He waved at us and dragged Heechul out, followed by their crew who each bowed to us and thanked us for inviting them into our humble abode. I’m sure they’re not supposed to call another person’s house humble.
They shut the door behind themselves, and Yunho and I leaned against the wall behind us and slid to the ground. “That was horrible.” I groaned, and Yunho nodded in agreement. I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“You should go to bed.” He mumbled.
Changmin came out of the bathroom, and squeezed himself between us after shoving my head off Yunho. “So… when are we going to have a threesome?” He grinned toothily, putting his arms around our shoulders.
“Where’s Hyun Joong?” I asked, ignoring Changmin’s stupid question. I could see him look disheartened, but I wasn’t about to agree to his crazy sex-schemes!
A very small incredibly adorable puppy came out of our kitchen, and jumped up on Yunho’s lap, tail wagging and tongue waving. I stared at the dog, a little freaked out and wondering how the hell that thing got up in our house. “There he is.” Changmin shrugged. “He has to transform when there are more than three vampires in the room. It’s a werewolf thing, so they can protect us better.”
I stared at the tiny puppy currently trying to get Yunho to pet him. “THAT’s supposed to protect you people?” I laughed my ass off.
“Give him a break okay? His dog self only ages a year every seven years.” Changmin sighed. “Besides, it’s not like it’s THAT dangerous anymore. Nobody believes in vampires. And wolves are usually much bigger. He’s only half.”
Yunho sighed and pet the adorable were-puppy on his lap. “Why doesn’t he turn back?” He asked.
“Oh, Hyun Joong’s just half-werewolf, and sometimes he gets glitch-y. Usually, when he goes ‘wolf’” He made air-quotes at the word wolf “he can’t turn back until the next full-moon.”
“Wait… so when he got inexplicably sick, he was just in a room with too many vampires?” I asked him.
Yunho laughed, and the puppy wagged his tail happily. “I like him better like this.” I glared at Hyun Joong, and pulled him off of Yunho. Hmph. I pet him roughly as revenge. “Don’t you think this is screwed up?” Yunho grumbled, staring at the dog like he had all the answers.
“What do you mean?” I asked, rubbing Hyun Joong’s exposed stomach. It will be so awkward seeing him in his human form again.
“We’re not supposed to know about vampires and werewolves and stuff! We’re just supposed to be regular humans living regular lives.” He pouted. “I mean I was perfectly satisfied thinking they were just really hot fictional characters I can drool over in my mind, like Edward and Jacob.” He sighed.
Min and I shared a sly glance, and I leaned over to grin amusedly at Yunho. “Dude, you are sooo gay.” I snickered and Changmin joined me.
“Shut up.” He pouted. “So are you.”
I replied with a loud sneeze. “Ugh… I’m going to bed.” I grumbled and tossed Hyun Joong to Changmin, before getting up. I looked down expectantly at Yunho. “You coming?”
“No. You’re sick.” He grumbled. “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Oh, so making out with me was okay, but sleeping with me is a big no, no.” I huffed unhappily. He wasn’t taking care of me at all! I’m very disappointed in his performance.
“I’ll sleep with you. I don’t get sick.” Min dumped the puppy on Yunho and followed me to my room. I stuck my tongue out at him before going in, but he ignored me in favor of glaring at Changmin’s back. I got on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately after I closed my eyes. I did hear Min mumbled “Oh… we were actually sleeping?” disappointedly.
A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA! What! Omg I just finished writing this ten minutes before I have to go to work. So Idc! I will post this before I leave even if I'm late. I hate my job anyway, but WHO DOESNT?! Anyway this is the unlucky Chapter 13~ ooooh~ *makes spooky noises* Did anyone see the hinty-hints of luuurrrrvvveeee? No? Well go read it again! FOR SHAME! Okay, Ima stop annoying you, becuz im sure nobody rlly reads this half. U'r prob all "Read, read, read, A/n? SCREW THAT! IM COMMENTING!" HAHAHA! I love u guys! And just for that I will answer AAAALLL UR COMMENTS!!! I'm just that nice! And attractive *gives you all teh sexy eye* okay, I'm gonna be late for work if I dont wrap this up, so as usual ENJOY!! and THNX for reading!!!! YOU ARE ALL SEXY STUD-MUFFINS!!! Even those of you with boobies!!! HIHIHIHIH! (I'm talking to YOU Yunho!)
P.S.: As you may have noticed... the pairing things says Yoomin now, becuz I did this hole he got eaten by Min thing so I figured y the hell not.


Spot for Alicachen!
Bribe you with a tons of hershey's kisses, don't care with your tooth plaque because I'm so happy as that!!!!!
Yaaaayyyy!!! Soooorrryyy for my lack of report for your awesome stories, you MUST Miss ME!!! *sing like Madonna sings You Must Love Me!* I knew you doooooo hahahaha

Blame it on my real life issues *lets glares at my working files* they kidnap my muse to read, and make me missed your journal *start to glare till my eyes itches*


I disappointed of yunho's action for refusing to make Joongie chicken soup! No need an excuse! A boy friend to be MUST follow what his boy friend's soon to be Demands. Fin! No excuse *pouts*

OMG OMG I'm sooooo proud of joongie's courage to scolds Heechul!!! Go Baby Jae!!! Prove them that JaeHo is Natural phenomenon!!! Gyaaaahhahahaha even the GheyHo afraid of Heechul the real Vamp... Hahahaahaha!

That's an awesome additional character! I love the way you insert Heechul and the crew as a cameo (more scenes for him won't hurt you) that's soooo hilarious!!

His High Heels, his make up LOVE Them!! Go Heechul Go!!!

What happened to yoochun??? Is Changmin gets full to suck his pale non-exist blood of body??? And YooMin couple I approve so much!!! They're gonna be a cute couple o(*^▽^*)o

Let me pet Hjun Joong will you??? I bet he's a very adorable puppy!!! Me waaannttt!!! Him as a puppy of a Hot Man! Give mmeeee *tugs your sleeve*

I want to write mooorre but your next chapter calling my name with alluring sounds, I must read it before HeeWon finally get laid each other hahahahaha

Thank you Alikooooooooo!!
Thank you so much for the laughter!!!
Blessed You!
mine ~
GIVE IT BAAAACCKKK!!! *tugs at it*
YOO-FTW-MIN <333 yes yes yes and omg this was as hilarious as expected! I love Jaejoong's thoughts and min, my precious five-year-old min <33 me wants more yunjae and yoomin and jaemin too \o/

thanks for sharing!!<33
i kno rite? Im so good :P
I will try my best with all those things u want more of... but yoomin still creeps me out...
Spot~ <3
enjoy!! Here have some confetti with it! oh wait, humans dont eat confetti..
Hinty-hints of luuuuuurve...are you kidding me? I re-read the makeout scene like twice. >.< And there was the whole Changmin thinking Chun tastes good thing...is that what you were talking about? O.o Either way, I got them both! Cuz I rock. *nods*

Idk what's up with HJ liking Yunho so much, though. lol Just noticing he's a bit drawn to him the few times he's around. Or maybe that was just me reading it wrong. Not that it's supposed to mean anything. Or is it... *has successfully made self confused and/or paranoid* :S

Oh wait, is there still supposed to be JaeMin? I'm never 100% sure if that's yet to happen or if it wasn't ever supposed to be that giant and did already kinda happen or something. o.O Anyways, as long as I get some decent YunJae action, I'm pretty satisfied. XD

I think Chun should probably get somebody, though, at least. He's so often forever alone in things I read. </3 He and Changmin. They are the forever alone pair. But that's why Junsu shows up, sometimes, I suppose. He can turn it into a party and make it a threesome. Who would say no to a threesome? Psh, no one! hehehe~ LoLz I look forward to the next update~ :D
well for the HyunHo thing or whatever, that was totally just random thing that happened while i was writing... its there to serve its purpose, that is all i shall say.
and Jaemin is kinda iffy too... cuz its like.. weird Jaemin, and iz also onesided, and since its JJs pov and he's sort of stupid u dont rlly see it... I hope that cleared things up... :D! So yay! long response for long comment!!
buahahahhahahahah new chapter ok wait imma gonna have to reread the last two chapters or something cause I just can't remember whattheheck happened *runs away from bricks*
it's okay... it's been a while since I posted... *whistles and nonchalantly kicks back brick*
Oooooooooooh, I sooo noticed the hints!!! Jae invited Yunho to bed with him. Kkkk~ <3
YAY! you noticey noticer you!!! and yes he did *eyebrow wag* wat will happen next?!? (did u see wat i did there? I made you wonder wat will happen nxt by wondering wat will happen nxt... cuz obviously I KNO wats gonna happen nxt im the writer!)(me so sneaky)
Do I see bits of Yunjae? o.o I DO see bits of Yunjae. >DD
We all pretty much knew the Yunjae was inevitable after that EPIK, DELICIOUS make out session in the last chapter....and this one. >8D Well.....except for Jae x'D

*munches Yoomin!cookies*
Oh yes~ *_*
*steals your Yoomin!cookies and runs away to a dark scary corner with spiders* *runs back from fear of spiders* Hooray for bits of yunjae!
As expected, you leave us laughing so hard on this whole conversation thing between them....hahaha....^0^
awww, thank you... I am quite funny if i do say so myself...
Yay... just a fair warning, there ARE spiders in this spot... but on the bright side yunjae lovin has happened here also =D
LOL Jae's thoughts are so funny XD Heechul!! LOL YunJae FTW! <3 I love this fic! lmfao Min always thinking of threesomes LOL
I think jae's funny cuz he's a bit dumb... hihihi.. i think i like making JJ stupid. MIN LOVE 4EVA!
LOL. i forgot how funny this fic is. reading this chapter, my mom thought i was crazy for laughing for no reason.

poor heechul. from their description, i would of done the same thing. *slams door* haha. i see why you made jae sick (nice aim!).

i can't wait for the next chapter to see if jae remembers to do the promise.

“Are okay, though?” = “Are you okay, though?”

p.s. that would make sense for them to be together.
of course, it's funny! I wrote it! hihihi Jk.. or am I?
thanks for the typo thing tho, poor ppl were prob reading that going "ugh, a grammar mistake?!? I hate you now." 'tis fixed now!
I would tell u... But then I'd have to kill you!!! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUN! Just kidding I think that may be answered in the nxt chap so be patient
huahahahahaha.... this chapter alone get me giggling trying not to LOL in the office... (thank you for saving me from sleeping on my keyboard...)
i need to reread this at home though... ^^
thank you for the update